Irvine Matchmakers Show Why a Broken Heart Makes Dating Tough

By Orange County Singles Dating Service
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The first time you fall in love feels like a Hollywood romance that you just don’t want to turn off.  But once you’re hurt by someone you love, that special feeling can quickly turn into a nightmare.  As the leading Irvine matchmakers, we know that you can still fall in love after experiencing a broken heart.  As tough as it may be, you just need to make yourself vulnerable again.  However, that requires you putting your heart out on the line, which is something you might not be willing to do right now.

You have felt the soul-wrenching, stomach-twisting feeling of a heartbreak, so you know how devastating it can be.  A breakup can feel like the loss of a family member, and it will certainly change you along the way.  Your heart will never be the same again, but you will learn to put the pieces back together over time and go on with your life.  Our dating and relationship are here to show you that you’re not alone.  Here is what happens when you have your heart broken but don’t want to give up on loving someone again.


1. You’re terrified when you start feeling something for someone new.

The moment that fall fling turns into something more serious, well, you start to panic.  You start to get nervous because experience has taught you to guard yourself in dating.  You now know that the more you feel for someone, the more pain you’ll feel when the relationship fails, and you know in your head it’s going to fail.

You’ve seen it before.  You’ve been in love before.  You experienced the same exact feelings you’re experiencing right now.  However, now it’s completely different because you think trouble is just around the corner.

2. You have internal fights about keeping your walls up or bringing them down.

Getting to the point where you can really trust someone again is very scary for you because it requires you to bring your walls down.  After having your heart shattered into a thousand pieces, it can be very difficult to make yourself vulnerable to someone again.  At the same time, you want this person to see you for the real you.  The result is an internal fight, confusion, and not knowing what to do.  You struggle to decide whether or not to keep your walls up or bring them down.

3. You stay distant for as long as you can.

Our Irvine matchmakers call this syndrome “emotionally unavailable” and totally understand where you’re coming from.  You’ve been hurt in the past and are now afraid to get close to someone new.  It is not that you want to be so distant, but you’re afraid of getting too close to them.  You like to take things slowly now and test the waters before you devote yourself to them.  You are afraid of getting your heart shattered one more time because you know how devastating it is.  If he or she is really worth your time, you’ll eventually let yourself become more attached to them.  However, the process is going to take longer this time around.

4. You’re waiting for the relationship to end.

Even when things seem to be going as perfectly as they can, you’re always waiting for the end to come around.  All it took was your heart being broken one time to realize that relationships do not last forever.  You are always afraid of the “We need to talk” text message coming in.  In fact, you always feel like the end is near.  Our Irvine matchmakers want you to shake off these feelings before you sabotage your dating life completely.

5. You worry that this is just too good to be true.

Sure, they are everything you could want in a partner, but you thought the same thing back when you dated your ex.  Now you know your ex isn’t flawless, and even the perfect candidate could turn out to be a ghoster, liar, cheater, or control freak.  You now know that appearances aren’t everything yet still try to give them the benefit of the doubt.  Deep inside, you still worry that it will happen again.

6. You’re becoming paranoid.

That text message was a little too short… They are not into me.  They keep looking at that attractive person… They are not into me anymore.  They showed up a little later than usual… They have to be cheating.

No matter how irrational these thoughts might be, you somehow feed into them in your head.  After all, the last time you ignored them, your ex did the same exact thing to you.

7. You appreciate what you have but know it can quickly disappear.

You have learned to live in the moment and appreciate things when you have them.  This is great, but just as you appreciate everything you have, you also know that it could be gone in an instant.  You obviously hope your concerns aren’t valid, but deep inside that little voice tells you not to get too comfortable.  You have become very cautious about everything.

8. You make a conscious effort to make things work.

Even if your ex cheated on you, part of you can’t help but to wonder if it was your fault they strayed.  You blame yourself and are now more focused on pleasing your partner than ever before.  You try going out of your way to make them happy, even if it doesn’t fit with who you are normally.

9. You avoid fights like the plague.

For you, fights are no longer fights.  For you, they symbolize the end of your relationship.  Even though you could be arguing about pizza toppings or reality TV shows, it means trouble in paradise to you.  You believe that you must agree on everything if you want to settle down.  However, our Irvine matchmakers are here to tell you that’s not only far from reality, but it’s also unhealthy.  You and your partner will have hundreds of disagreements, but those disagreements will help you grow as individuals and as a couple.  Although you’ll eventually learn this, you can’t shake the feeling right now.  You think the end is right around the corner for every little fight that emerges.

Despite having your heart broken and being hurt in the past, we never want you to give up on love.  Love is one of the most amazing life experiences.  Sure, it might take a few tries, and you might even have your heart broken a few more times in the future, but you’ll be happy you did in the end.

If you’re ready to give love another shot, fill out the private form at the top of the page to reserve your FREE 90 minute matchmaking consultation with our Irvine matchmakers today.  Let us show you why real love is worth it!

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